Ivarius Faldine
10 March 2007 @ 04:12 pm
Portland's hosting a flower show tomorrow. I truly wish I could go, and I also wish I could go as myself with all the knowledge and papers I had while I was living in Wales. Gardeners are a tetchy group; if you don't have proof of your experience (Master Gardener certificate here in America) they won't pay too much attention to you. If you do have certification, they'll give you their interest until you say you've done something they've failed to do. In a way, gardeners are like collectors with a ware of knowledge around how to properly care for their creations. At one point during my life, I would have been able to trade off experience with the best of them. Sadly that knowledge doesn't hold over to this side, and I do miss it on a fairly frequent basis. At least it is enough that I may garden on the inside with August's full blessing to manage his plants.

A few people have sent me some absolutely lovely music, and I'd like to thank them. I'll soon wear it out with how often I listen to it. It keeps a sometimes lonely and reminiscent ghost company through the night.

Our English teacher has been giving class assignments circling the Arthurian legends. I love it, I love reading them all again. I read them twice before, once during the 1800's and again in the 1990's. The tales are always changing, editions are updated and revised, wandering farther and farther from what once might have been to the legend it is today. I love to pay attention to the discussions, to throw in my comments when people are getting carried away with the Welsh Dragon (my country's flag standard); Dragons are all well in good, but do keep in mind that the country's plant is a leek. Leeks! Ah, people. At least the discussion about the Family Tomb of Jesus was interesting. Jay immediately (and somewhat predictably) burst out with how it couldn't be real, he wouldn't believe it because you can't test the DNA and Jesus rose to heaven spiritually and physically. (Just for the sake of clarification, Jay's a physical person and not someone living hereabouts with me.)

I can't help but wonder if Jay's faith would be shaken if solid proof could be formulated. If the Christ did not rise to heaven, would he cease to believe a wonderful man once walked this Earth trying to spread kindness and understanding of a monotheistic God? I should know by now that it is not enough for people to believe in a truly good person trying to help others. I honestly should know that some extraordinary thing must happen in order to inspire any sort of faith in the minds of the general population. Anyone can be nice, how hard is that? It's another thing to raise baskets to the sky and receive food in response to prayer. Clearly my faith is of a different nature than most would consider valid.
Ivarius Faldine
06 February 2007 @ 12:47 pm
Losing electricity changes nothing in my life. I need no sheet music to find my way over the keys of a piano. The violin knows my fingers, and I daresay my fingers know the precision it takes to play. August's shelves of braille books have not packed themselves away to await the return of power. I'm not afraid to keep the fire burning; it's not hard to find more wood if it runs low.

The electricity to the house went out. I wouldn't have known if Mike hadn't made a noise. The things I do feel are linked to my life, my affections. Someone I was once close to asked Lexi if she wanted to keep contact. She planned on making a new name on the messengers. I ache for when I knew her closely. Losing contact would be holding my hands aloft over the keys mid-stanza. It hurts, I need a resolution. I want to finish this song, know I'll never play it exactly the same way again, and go on to a new one. What was is not what is.

No matter how well I learn my way around new places with no sight, these matters remain beyond my skill.
Ivarius Faldine
11 January 2007 @ 12:32 pm
One fantasy series will always hold my affection: Narnia. My mother gave them to me when I had a chest cold and was confined to bed. I've adored them and C. S. Lewis from that point on.

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one!"
~C. S. Lewis

I didn't make lasting friendships when I attended school. They whispered that I was too absent-minded, too this, too that, too something. I didn't make friends until I left secondary school; lost those friends in the matter of a week...

I'm finding friends again. They're online, of course. I wouldn't know what to talk about with Lexi's friends, if I did manage to talk to them. Toby likes cars; I know nothing on the subject. Cruts likes to make movies with Chris, Freeman. I suppose I could talk to Freeman. He keeps animals; that's a topic I wouldn't get lost on. Overall, however; my prospects of finding people to talk to are slim when confined to Lexi's social life. Toby's the only one in the light (per say) about the soulbonding/plurality...

Wait. I'm fiction now. Does that make me fictionkin? Good Lord, all of these definitions! I don't know who or what I am without adding all of this complication to it!
Mood: content