Ivarius Faldine
19 January 2010 @ 05:17 pm
I seem to have acquired pierced ears. Kalli also has a new set of piercings. It's quite exciting really, I can't help reaching up to turn them! August has enough for another set on his leftover Wal*Mart gift card and plans to use it fairly soon.

Oh and we've got a job! We're hired! Everyone is excited, of course. I am too. It looks like a nice enough place to work.
 
 
Mood: cheerful
Music: Come Cover Me by Nightwish
 
 
Ivarius Faldine
18 March 2007 @ 12:58 pm
A song helped me get through 2000. My entire life had been turned upside down, I was free and living with another person whom I thought very much of. I was slow in getting used to being able to go down to the shop with happy anonymity, that sweet lady behind the counter must have thought I was flirting with her. Oh no, I was flirting with that store and being able to walk to it all on my own whenever I wanted with no upturned noses or cold stares. My life underwent so many changes in that year.

Remus gave me a room with two windowed walls. At first, but just at first, I was afraid to go back to gardening. I had gardened for six years with no real break to speak of, it had categorized itself as lonely work in my mind. Homesickness found me in those first few weeks of setting up that room with the stone-tile floor and humidifiers. I set out seed trays and prayed they wouldn't regrow my loneliness into something I'd be unable to handle. One day I was sitting in there, on a stool, planting, and he brought me a radio. I had previously owned one that had needed some repairing, a small one that only worked if I kept the volume low. Now I had a new radio to play with.

As per typical me, I left it to sit there on its shelf for a full two weeks before turning it on. The dial slid and I found a blend of non-magical and magical stations alike. I wanted to try something new, my search didn't drive me to find a station for classical instrumentals. I stopped when it fixed on a station that came in well and left it. I went back to my planting.

"If I fall along the way
pick me up and dust me off
if I get too tired to make it
be my breath so I can walk

If I need some other love, then
give me more than I can stand
when my smile gets old and faded
wait around I'll smile again
"

I heard this song four or five times before it finally occurred to me to write it down. The style was distanced from what I normally enjoy, I'm sure the lyrics imply something entirely different from the meaning I took.

"Can you help me
I'm bent
I'm so scared that I'll never
Get put back together
"

One song helped me through all the changes I had to accept. My life was my own again, I had to work through seeing myself as something broken to something that could be fixed. I started singing along with this song when it came on in that grocery with the friendly lady behind the counter. She smiled at me and I know she thought I was mental but I was happy. My broken life was getting repaired and I wasn't doing it alone, someone was helping me.
 
 
Mood: cheerful
 
 
Ivarius Faldine
17 March 2007 @ 04:20 pm
Last night was brilliant. Lexi and Jack were laughing so much; it's a pity I drifted off or I would have taken part. My own past was tragic enough, and I'm not so serious that I can't laugh at it. I'll admit it's sometimes painful laughter, laughter that comes in the middle of the night... At least daylight washes that away. It's a comfort that each day is a new one, a step away from the one before.

A foot of new snow is on the ground. I may slide into August's skis and go take pictures when it's a little brighter outside. August and I might be the only people lurking around with Lexi for a few days; Remus never wants to see snow again. He's a summer person when you get down to it. I don't mind the winter half so much as I used to, there was a time when it'd make me ache. Now I can look and see how beautiful it is without worrying about a long walk down to a village followed by a longer walk back up. It's outside the window, and I'm warm indoors. I like being awake before the plow comes along and turns the road brown and muddy.

Faintly, I remember waking up long enough to hear hail. Hail! Spring's on the way. :)
 
 
Mood: loved
 
 
Ivarius Faldine
01 January 2007 @ 12:25 pm
A flying Beanie-shaped object woke me up at midnight to hug me and wish me a happy New Year. I wished her one as well.

So, Happy New Year to all of you also!
 
 
Mood: awake
 
 
Ivarius Faldine
25 December 2006 @ 12:22 pm
A certain mage I live with has problems spinning around on his plate. I can't get into that, it's not my business to talk about. He's been worrying me with all of it. The only way to get anywhere with him is to keep after him with questions. If people don't ask, he doesn't answer. That's a logical way of dealing with people, but it makes for a lot of things he's not saying.

Ah, what do I know of it? Juhani (we all call him Ju, Jacqui even) solved the problem by suggesting we go watch House M.D. for an hour. He calmed down because he likes the show. I do too.

It's a doctor thing. I wonder if I ever truly left the profession? Just the other night I found myself dreaming about a patient I had in the early 90's... Never growing out of it, never leaving it behind.

Oh, I also wanted to give out a thanks to [profile] rhymer_713 for the music. I love it, it's a blend of the Celtic and Spanish. Good ears! I'll wear this music out before long.

...good Merlin, why am I so chirpy tonight?
 
 
Mood: happy
 
 
Ivarius Faldine
21 December 2006 @ 04:04 pm
Yesterday I smelled cloves and trust me, it's not a smell a person expects to pick out during the course of a school day. Cloves are a distinctive smell, like cinnamon and hard to miss. Curiosity between myself and August resulted in following the smell all the way to the LC to see what was happening.

The story behind the smell was this: two students had irritated Mrs. Crawford with their chattering, leaving her no choice but to give them oranges, pointy sticks, and clove buds.

The punishment was to make these! )
 
 
Mood: amused